By Steve Sokolowski

People who cut themselves are taken to the hospital and stitched up. Those who need wisdom teeth removed go to a dentist for surgery. Even terrible diseases like cancer, if not curable, are at least able to be identified by doctors so that the best treatments can be given. Mental illnesses, however, have no visible symptoms. Despite what they say in person, doctors are often dismissive of mental illness and are inexperienced in dealing with it. Here, I describe how four months elapsed between the first appearance of symptoms and my eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and what I learned from repeated misdiagnoses by the medical establishment.

On August 5, 2006, I read on the Internet about Sam-E, a nutritional supplement that is advertised to increase concentration and reduce anxiety and depression. After buying a package from the local drugstore, I read all the side effects carefully. The pills supposedly had a half-life of three hours. Two were recommended, so I took one in the morning and one in the evening.

While I did not notice any increase in mood, I immediately encountered an increase in concentration. Rather than frequently losing focus and having to retrain my thoughts with great effort, I could work for hours that day without a break. I went to bed thinking that while my mood had not improved, at least I would be able to concentrate better if I continued to take the supplement.

In the morning, the increased concentration had given way to a complete inability to keep anything in my mind for more than a second at a time. Read the rest of this entry »

By Steve Sokolowski

People who cut themselves are taken to the hospital and stitched up. Those who need wisdom teeth removed go to a dentist for surgery. Even terrible diseases like cancer, if not curable, are at least able to be identified by doctors so that the best treatments can be given. Mental illnesses, however, have no visible symptoms. Despite what they say in person, doctors are often dismissive of mental illness and are inexperienced in dealing with it. Here, I describe how four months elapsed between the first appearance of symptoms and my eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and what I learned from repeated misdiagnoses by the medical establishment.

On August 5, 2006, I read on the Internet about Sam-E, a nutritional supplement that is advertised to increase concentration and reduce anxiety and depression. After buying a package from the local drugstore, I read all the side effects carefully. The pills supposedly had a half-life of three hours. Two were recommended, so I took one in the morning and one in the evening.

While I did not notice any increase in mood, I immediately encountered an increase in concentration. Rather than frequently losing focus and having to retrain my thoughts with great effort, I could work for hours that day without a break. I went to bed thinking that while my mood had not improved, at least I would be able to concentrate better if I continued to take the supplement.

In the morning, the increased concentration had given way to a complete inability to keep anything in my mind for more than a second at a time. It was difficult to speak in full sentences because I would easily forget what I was saying while I was talking. Believing that the condition was a side effect of the medication, I waited for it to subside for four additional days, but the problem didn’t get any better – only worse.

By August 10, despite stopping the Sam-E, a new problem had reared its head – I lost the ability to feel emotions, and therefore was unable to determine when it was appropriate to talk to people. Most people, I imagine, decide what to say next by how they feel according to the previous thing that was said. Read the rest of this entry »